February has been a rough month for me. Perhaps it is the natural melancholy that comes with the end of winter, a lack of Vitamin D, fresh greenery, tense muscles from hunching so repeatedly against the cold wind has wound me into a grumpy, brain dead sloth who has absolutely no desire to dye whatsoever.
I know, I know. I can’t be an indie yarn dyer when I am not dyeing yarn. It’s just not possible–and yet, I seem to have made it happen. I think I took the month of February off without meaning to. It happens occasionally. You get tired, your mind gets clouded with a sort of irrational fear that your going to mess something up if you proceed, so you just don’t do anything at. Well, maybe you don’t, but I tend to do that every now and again. Part of it is that my job takes a lot of my creative energy, and I am still working on how to balance that out with everything else.
And also. Winter. I am so sick of winter, I can’t even begin to explain how much I want to be able to not wear shoes outside. Is that too much to ask?
I know I have complained about it before, but my computer has been a gigantic hindrance. Not blogging, not updating my etsy page, all of that is because every time I try to work on my computer, I want to throw it across the room. Whatever problem it developed, it’s had it for a year, and it is only getting worse. It’s been looked at multiple times, and there’s still no real diagnostic reason as to why it shuts down whenever it wants to. I have reached my limit. I am tired of looking at my computer and deciding it’s just not worth the frustration to even turn it on, because honestly, I can’t run a business that is largely based on internet sales without a gorram working computer. Which is why I threw caution to the wind and ordered a new computer today. It should be here early next week and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I will do my best not to destroy this computer out of spite once the other one arrives, but I make no promises. (Of course, now that I have broken down and ordered another laptop, this one has been acting just fine so far today.)
I am hoping the excitement of ordering a new gadget shakes me out of my stupor a bit.
Dyeing hasn’t been the only thing I have been avoiding of course. My spinning wheel has been woefully neglected since I taught my spinning class, and the only thing I have started knitting that I haven’t ripped out is Brock’s sweater, which I still don’t have a picture of, even though it’s 95% finished. More than anything else, I have been hankering to do some academic work. I miss reading and writing and (dare I say it?) literary criticism(!). I started reading through The Madwoman in the Attic the other day just for the hell of it. It could be because I am listening to both Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights and reading Agnes Grey . I have plans to read all of my Bronte books again. (I have read all the books by the sisters and have shelf of criticism and biography on top of that.) I feel some-Bronte inspired works forming in me. Not sure whether they will manifest themselves through knitting patterns or yarn colors or fiction or essays just yet, but be on the lookout. Something is brewing.
I am hoping March will be a much more productive month than February.